Holy moly...yay for the inner city.  I've learned soo, soo, soo much about this place, about who I am, and figured out that I'm less sure now of what God wants me to do with my career.  Which, I suppose is awesome, but yeah...wowy wow wow.  Anyway, I just wanted to tell ya'll that God rocks my face off!!!

Has anybody ever seen Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?  Remember that scene where Carmen just blows up at Tibby because she's angry with her dad but for some reason she can't tell him that?  I feel like that so much right now.  Ugh!!! I hate being such a volitile girl.  I know I am; I know I create my own drama, I know things aren't as big a deal as I make of them, but somehow, all of this doesn't stop the problem.  Why can't I just say that I'm angry? Why can't I ever just say that I'm hurt.  I kid myself about how "honest" I've become with people, how "real".  That's balogna.  I still can't tell people that I'm less than happy with them until it's too late.  I still feel that somehow, that might offend them and I might be "weird" or the "b****y" one.  That's so dumb.  Things hurt right now and they shouldn't, or at least I think they shouldn't. I'm angry about it.  I'm angry that I feel like I can do so little about it, angry that I feel that hurt in the first place, angry at myself really.  GRRRRR.  I had such a good day.  How can I let little things build up until they do this to me!?  Why can't I seem to find the peace that is supposed to fill me? 

Currently Watching Dirty Dancing (Collector's Edition) By Jennifer Grey, Patrick Swayze see related

So my night went something like this...start the evening with a feel good sports movie with my whole family.  Good times of course.  Then off to the best pizza place EVER! where I duked it out on the snowmobile video game with my sis (totally kicked her booty!) and my father unscrewed the lid on the parmasean cheese which my sister dumped all over her plate (nothing out of the ordinary...happens every time). And then back home to play some darts and air hockey with the fam (yeah...totally won at that too!).  To top the night off, my daddy and I hit up a biker bar (no lie...seriously, a smoky, leather covered, Harley-Davidson style biker bar) to check out a local musician that happens to be a fav. of my 'rents.  It was awesome!!!

I love my family. Somehow, God decided to bless me with this crazy family of mine.  I think that this is easily one of the biggest blessings I could have ever received in my life.  Some days, I just have to take a step back to realize how awesome it is that I got to be raised in this family.  When I talk about family, I also mean some of the people I grew up with.  There's this crazy gift that now gets passed around between my very first best friends and my brother got it tonight.  I was reading through the book that accompanied it and I teared up.  We've all grown up, but gosh, we have so much history.  I feel like a spoiled brat sometimes because of the gift of these people in my life.  Yay for them! PTL for them!